I understand that it is difficult for so many to fully grasp. I am unsure if there is anyone who can relate to it.
I have accepted that I am unable to be on any social media. Is it my autism and how my 7q11 lands me on the spectrum? Is it partly that along with gifts in the Holy Spirit? It is hard for you to understand, but being on there is like opening up a million, if not more, super highways in my mind. It is like Cerebro.
I have a very intense existence.
I accept that most are incapable of relating to, understanding, or even minutely capable of empathy or compassion towards me. I have accepted that and that this world is a sick place. The more I ask for quiet, the more others think it is funny to find ways to harm me through noise and interruption. I live in a very cruel world.
Have you ever seen job ads that state they support those with disabilities? My mind is in a wheelchair and I need compassion. On top of all the hearing and perceiving, the autism and 7q11, I have developed a traumatic brain injury called PTSD. I find it impossible to wrap my mind around why anyone would see this as an opportunity to kick and punch, rather than build me a ramp. I find it deeply offensive and those who seek to harm me are like a foul thing. But why should it surprise me? I’ve seen real videos of those out in this world with disabilities being horrifically abused. Why would it be any different for me? People are sick. They are gross. They are asleep and governed by fear. They are without the Holy Spirit that connects us to the other Realm, though there are many who innately have a moral compass and desire for good rather than harm and do things apart from God that so many who claim Him are incapable of doing. “What is going on in the mind?” –I think. It’s like I stepped out in faith to intercept terror and save lives, and rather than there being others who desired to meet me there and enable me to continue on, I was met with a mob waiting to destroy me for doing so.
I am so tired, and I am so tired of trying to process it all, trying to reason it out. I can’t reason it out because it is unreasonable. It is illogical. It is the reason we need definitions of human rights and laws that protect freedom. Most are so ignorant in their minds that commons sense and common decency is not within reach.
Every day I wake up in war.
I see bombs going off, I see horrific things happening. I sacrificed my life to step out in faith and intercept what has been in play. I can’t remember the last 7 years of my children growing up. I have a 7 year gap of memories, and feel like I can’t recall much before that. I stepped out in faith believing there would be honorable people who would place me in a protective program and somewhere safe. Rather than that, I was treated very cruelly and forced to face something horrible, and try to survive the attempts on my life, my children’s lives, and countless lives around me. You are incapable of knowing how traumatic the last 7 years have been for me. On top of that I’ve had so much loss. And then I go to work to be relentlessly bullied and taunted. Most nights I don’t sleep well at all. I face each day with a heart so broken and damaged, with the weight of the world on my shoulders, a lack of sleep that impairs me, and health problems that have compounded from all the stress. I face each day with barriers you cannot understand on top of seeing horrific things happening. I carry all this to work trying very hard to keep a smile on my face in the presence of so many that are just waiting to sink their teeth into me. People that don’t even know me. All thanks to horrific criminals in our government that will stop at nothing to try and destroy me, abuse me, harass me, terrorize me. I can’t wait to find a new place of employment and I am praying to God that it will not be another toxic environment or subject to those in this government. I pray asking God to please let me have at least that –the pursuit of happiness with like minded people.
There may be times that I need to take long breaks from even posting on here. I have not only decided I cannot be on social media, but I have also decided that I cannot look at the news that is nothing more than a Hollywood reality show production. There are days I ask that karma would land on others so hard that they feel it for the rest of their lives. Someone told me that the only way to stop a bully is for one of their kids to be raked over the coals by a bully. How sad.
I want to pursue happiness, and I want to work in a toxic free environment. I have too much else to carry around to add more to the heaviness. The things I ask for are reasonable –to be treated humanely, ethically –not with degrading treatment or cruelty. I have prayed for this and asked others to pray for me to have this blessing for a long time now. Please pray. I have started submitting my resume again.
Over this last week I’ve seen many things. I have wondered if it truly is time to simply stop sharing what I see. When I speak of these things I often reference scripture simply to call attention to possibilities with God. Most are so comfortable with their illusion they lack all ability to open the mind to truth and what reality really is.
before the throne there was something like a sea of glass, like crystal; and in the center and around the throne, four living creatures full of eyes in front and behind. The first creature was like a lion, and the second creature like a calf, and the third creature had a face like that of a man, and the fourth creature was like a flying eagle. And the four living creatures, each one of them having six wings, are full of eyes around and within; and day and night they do not cease to say,
“HOLY, HOLY, HOLY is THE LORD GOD, THE ALMIGHTY, WHO WAS AND WHO IS AND WHO IS TO COME.”Revelation 4
I am not sure what that looks like to be a creature with six wings that can be likened to different things we can relate to, but then also to be covered in eyes within and without. My point is to once again temper your thoughts that you might better receive the visions that are given me. There are many different creatures out there in our realm, and in the Higher Realm, and even in the dark realm. I want to share a few of the things I’ve seen. At the beginning of this week that I held back from posting on here, I first saw a man-like being that had dark green skin, eyes like us, but with a mouth and nose like a beak. You might think, how could this be “man-like”. He was upright with arms and legs. He was sitting in a place that was curious to me. It was all gray and looked like a reception desk in a workplace. He had on a tight red suit. Not like a business suit, but more like a wet suit. It even went up on his head tightly. I watched him stand up and shuffle what he was doing, reaching, just like you would imagine someone at a desk working. What is this place? –I thought. I wondered if this is where the archives of all history are kept. Then it was like I was back in my bed and I could see invisible ripples coming down from outer space and straight towards my head. I was very sick, dizzy and nauseous the next couple of days. I asked God that if this being was harmful towards me that He would make him stop.
A few days after that I saw a being that seemed like a spirit without any type of flesh get drawn up from me. I watched it get pulled up into the night sky. I do not yet know if this was an evil spirit or an angel of the Higher Realm.
I also saw a grave with a tombstone somewhere here on this earth and there was a leg and foot coming out of it. It was like bone, but with a new looking black work like boot on. I have to wonder if I am being shown what is to come when the earth will begin to give up the dead. This is a part of death and hades being thrown into the lake of fire. It is a part of the ending of the reign of Death.
This morning I saw a young black boy looking at his reflection in a window and it was as if he had seen a ghost. I watched him touching his hands, touching his face and looking in amazement at his reflection. I wondered, is he one that has been deceased that is being brought back?
I was also sown a symbol from God and I was upset about it. Then through the night last night I heard the voices of angels singing in the most beautiful way to me and over me. It was the sound of many voices together in harmony and softness. It was like the notes of music without any words, but the notes were sung with an “ahh” sound that was continuous, going up and down through the notes without any breaks or pauses for one to catch their breath. It was so delicate and beautiful. It was peaceful. In my response to God’s symbol and then hearing this, I said to them, “If this is the case, then I will have to stop receiving all visions that intercept terror, because I cannot do both –walk in peace while seeing a war.”
Then I heard the voice of one from Heaven, a voice far away and like an announcer in the Realm. He said to me from afar: “This is code 8, because you are going to Heaven.”