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I will have no more children. I will not enter into any relationship. I will be left alone in those respects. I want a quiet time of healing and a season of rest. I want to be enabled to live out future days with the choice to be secluded.

If those who are after children ever proposition me, the answer will be no. God allows me to see intent. I won’t entertain a relationship with anyone who has that on their mind. Regardless of that factor, I am so in the negative I have absolutely nothing to give anyone. There is nothing in me to give of.

I desire to have emotional supportive counsel that is professional. That is all.

There is no one that is true out there. I understand that and I have accepted that. I am only bringing this up again because I can perceive others. There is a group that want nothing more than some kind of supernatural heir. There is another group that is patiently waiting to pounce if I ever happen to come into money. I don’t want either group in my life.

All I want is the quiet season of focus and healing where I can begin to process everything and move on from it all and find creative ways to find joy. Perhaps that will be study, or writing, or both. Maybe it will be gardening.

I don’t want to be mean to anyone. But I want to be left to a solitary life where I can find some kind of healing and joy. I want to be released from all of this. Just leave me be.