My body has not been the same after getting hit by a Semi. It feels like my back has been increasingly getting worse. My knee, the right one, can have very bad days. There is a weird catch in it. I have to favor it and be careful. My stomach has a protrusion, and no I’m not talking about my big Mommy belly. After the wreck and I guess from screaming and the strain, I have this tiny spot that makes me think of what could almost be a hernia. It can feel painful and so often I find myself trying to favor me knee and lean over a bit to favor my belly. I am all out of whack.

Some days I have my kids pop my back as a lie on my stomach on the floor. They push down and upward and it will pop. The other day it popped so much it was incredible and it popped all the way down to the end of my spine and it felt like it was tingling. I need to strengthen my core in hopes to hopefully reverse this strained protrusion and help support my posture.

I feel like it is getting worse and worse. If you’ve ever had an injury and then favor it, you find other things getting sore in the process. I am all messed up. I went today to Target to try and find some kind of support or back brace to help and hopefully keep me from favoring things to the point of causing other problems. I first was looking in the sports section, but goodness I could not handle wearing that bulky big thing all day. Not to mention, when you have hot flashes, the last thing you want to do is add a layer. I am sure that band would have worked well for exercise and to wear for a short while. I can’t imagine it on all day. I looked through the undies and I could not see anything that might be helpful. Then I thought about the maternity section, remembering the support braces for pregnant women. Then I found this, not the ones for pregnancy, but after.

Technically it is after my pregnancy though it be 13 years after. Not as big and bulky as the sports one, not as flimsy as a support pantie, this could be great. I have had it on for a couple hours now. I think it might help as I am trying to build strength there. It feels comfortable enough. I feel like it is firm enough support and I won’t be so prone to favor this spot that hurts. I feel it is helping that place not hurt. But I can already feel the tension in my neck and shoulders from trying to go back to a proper posture. Even a correction can be painful and take time.

I am on a healing journey in more ways than one.

I feel like if I don’t do something now I will be fully hunched over in years to come. I will say though, just as I’ve mentioned, I have not been crying the days away and I feel like the more healing in the heart, the more motivation I have to pursue physical healing. When you can’t get yourself out of bed mentally, it is very difficult to approach the physical aspect of your health, though the physical will be helpful in healing the heart. It is a difficult place to get stuck in.

Every little step is progress.

On a side note, don’t be reading into the picture. I have no eggs and I mean it. Thank you, Jesus, for vaporizing them.

I am embarking on a journey of healing. I am trying to manage and lesson all the chronic pain I have in as many drug free methods I can.