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The only thing I want is for the headaches to go away, the pain in my body to go away, and to go away. I am changing course towards destiny. I will never look at it again. I will never release a vision again. They all have been a lie from God. So it is with the secret power of lawlessness. He has lied to me my whole entire life. I laid out my petition. I watched my prayer like my foot coming down and sending waves through the Heavenly realm. The ground rolled like a wave. I love the idea of releasing words of revelation, prophetic messages individually to a person meant to receive it in private. I love that. Everything else can go. Maybe that was what I was supposed to learn from it all –living in the now, giving a word like a glass of water to others along my way.

Repentance is simply a word meaning to turn and go in the opposite direction. I repent of asking to be used by Him because all that is left is something that is used that I can’t recognize. I have nothing but disgust left and I think it is time to look towards a new path where I might rediscover a love for life. Even if that means I take the bullet while not looking.

I am so sick to death. What kind of a life is that? Not one to fight for.

No, it’s not that I don’t love His presence or look forward to a Heavenly place. It’s that I don’t trust Him. I find that I cannot believe anything He has ever shown me. So, I will refuse to acknowledge anything else he shows. He cannot hold it against me, because He knows it’s true. I don’t like games, and I don’t like liars. So, if He decides to be an image worth reflecting, then maybe I’ll look again.